Renewed Trust in the Lord

“Nevertheless, we were made for that which is too big for us”  

Brennan Manning

I stumbled upon this phrase while reading a book on trust that was recommended to me.  I’m not sure why it hit me so hard but as I reread these words something that was laying dormant in me began to stir.  It felt like a fresh pool of water –  on a stifling hot day was waiting for me to experience if I just took a breath and jumped. 

Let me do a quick rewind,  my name is Andy, I’m one of those weird unicorns that grew up in the same church I now get to lead over the course of almost 30 years.   I can look back through the lens of church and see a lot of my journey with Jesus, my history with Jesus.  

Trusting Him with my life and trusting my life with the people in this community has marked me in deep and meaningful ways that I am privileged to carry for the rest of my days.   

And yet, through all that time…

I STILL struggle to find places of rest and intimacy with this Jesus.  I STILL get discouraged about my identity, stuck in comparisons and performance.   I STILL get tripped up on fighting for my own plan and results for my life, forsaking my freely giving inheritance from the Father.   

I STILL feel pain.  I STILL have questions.  I STILL STRUGGLE TO TRUST.

Maybe you are like me when facing these struggles you feel guilt or shame that you aren’t further along in your maturity or “past” these cycles.  Informed and influenced by those feelings, it can be so easy to start spinning out in our journey as a Jesus follower. 

I wonder though,  what would happen if in the same moment when those thoughts swirl through my mind and yours – we also hear the words that Jesus spoke to Paul in 2 Cor. 12:9 – “My power works at its best in your weakness”.   This is Jesus, in His mysterious way, giving us a glimpse into the Father’s immense love and acceptance – even when brokenness seems to hang on and cycles repeat.  

When we grab ahold of this powerful, upside down truth, deep humility is released in our thoughts.  With new mindsets, we can readily celebrate our successes  and not become disheartened by our mistakes.   

Repentance in our brokenness then becomes an exercise of affection for Jesus and His acceptance of us.  We can find ourselves again, drawn into something that is “TOO BIG” for us to understand but fits us perfectly.    His unfailing – unconditional – otherworldly – mysterious – untainted – LOVE. 

As we step into this season of Intimacy, Identity and Inheritance (the core attributes of our journey as Fully Alive people at Living Waters) join me in a heart of repentance and humility.  You may be a wizened follower of Jesus with years of history or a new apprentice just discovering His ways – the same opportunity remains for all us. 

We have been invited to trust Him anew – we take a deep breath and jump together! 

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  1. Amen 🙏 I also feel this way when I find myself still getting thrown off in doubt by the devils lies. It’s a thought like “Jesus has literally proved his faithfulness to me by bringing me out of the devils schemes plenty of times and I still stumble??” Like you had said it’s a shame feeling because it’s nothing new for me, it’s something I can recognize (when the devil attacks) , and I genuinely can’t figure out how it is that I still slip up. Either way I don’t like to give the devil so much credit because I know that Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world. May the Lord Our God continue to strengthen you and protect you🙏