That’s Not What I Paid For

I recently had the chance to sell some used cars, tools, household items and squirrel together enough funds to buy a lifelong dream of a truck – Land Rover Defender.   It’s been a joy working through the kinks and uniqueness of an old rig.   I knew I may be biting off a lot in the process, but I felt up to the challenge.

As I researched more about these vehicles, their history and what to look for/avoid in the condition, I found out it was very easy for people to cover major problems on these rigs. 

I’m sure this is the case for every used truck out there, put on some big tires, make sure the paint is shiny, grab a nice stereo and throw in some silly accessories like a shovel and recovery tracks (for a daily driver ha ha) and sell it at a high price.  Then we get home with our new fancy rig and realize the axles are shot and rust is overtaking the vehicle like ivy on an oak tree.  

Though I didn’t find myself in this situation, thankfully, it’s easy to make these kinds of decisions and exclaim “That’s not what I paid for!”   

Though it’s not a perfect parallel or metaphor (as I am a finite mortal created being like you)  I wonder in the context of the cost of the Cross, if Jesus ever says the same thing to me.  Not in exclamation or consternation but in His merciful and graceful thoughts towards me – “Son, stop putting on these false self garments to look polished and dignified for me,  this is not what I paid for…”

As we have been spending the last few weeks exploring Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, the idea of the “False Self” has popped up.    Simply put, the “False Self” is an apparition of ourselves, it’s a way we hide the layers of fear, hurt, pain, mistrust, and mother/father wounds in our “True Self” and work to project a more put together image to the world and to Jesus.  We can then avoid the painful places of intimacy and vulnerability by propping up this image as religious fervor/lifestyle, negating the truth that “in our weakness He is strong”.. 

We all do it.  We all have this tendency.  It is played out in every relationship on the planet. 

So for us who call ourselves Christ followers – it’s a life-long journey to allow Holy Spirit to peel back these layers so we can live fully and freely.  The catalyst for this process is what Jesus did through  the Cross and Resurrection.

We can celebrate that we are saved, our life no longer ends with death. He wanted to set the eternal-living-fully-alive-LIFE as our permanent and current condition.   In fact, regardless of what we perceive to be our “used condition”  He says that we are a NEW CREATION.   

So here is the encouragement – you don’t have to dress up your life, you don’t have to hide the condition of your heart or emotions. When you gather with other believers on a Sunday morning or when you sit before Jesus on your back porch – the more you offer your TRUE self and not your FALSE self – the more layers of health and life will be uncovered and you will be free!  

This is what JESUS PAID FOR!

Blessings my friends, 


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