4. How do I determine who or what is appropriate to cut out or put in as the transformation continues?
Ryan Rhoden September 13, 2022
1. There is a difference between disappointing people and intentionally judging and cutting people out of our lives in an unhealthy way.
2. Sometimes our journey toward health means a redirection of our resources (emotional, spiritual, and relational) and that’s okay.
If we are moving toward health, we can maintain the relationship (to a degree) even if it is changing. Meaning, relationships don’t have to end, they just transition into something else. Maintain the bridges up, just use them less. Not all relationships are meant to last forever. Hold them with an open hand, and if you grow apart…so be it.
3. In extreme cases (that a cutting is necessary) has to do with boundaries.
New boundaries as you grow healthy and no longer process or accept behavior or belief that has been previously normalized in your life, your marriage or your family comes with simple process:
- Step back
- Establish boundary (through communication)
- Opening invitational gates within the boundary.
4. If you have existed in a passive aggressive, co-dependent or toxic relational/emotional or spiritual ecosystem, your recognition of it, and desire to change will be perceived as a threat to the established way.
Be prepared to be villianized and for people to paint themselves as the victim. (Ex. – A clear desire for health within a family relationship that means setting new standards/expectations for it. I am not coming to Thanksgiving dinner because the last 4 years it has turned into an unhealthy experience of fighting, anger and lashing out. “Why are you breaking up this family…”)
5. Find people who are journeying in the same direction as you and “going after” the same things as you.
Church is something we “tackle” a lot around here. Religion, church-ianity, etc. Church can be unhealthy. But, man…when WE approach it correctly, and when it is done well, it can truly can be one of the healthiest things in your life as you seek to be fully alive in Jesus.